I remember when I knew at least 30 phone numbers off the top of my head. Take out the (900) numbers and I knew about 20 phone numbers. Still pretty respectable considering I only paid 12 of those people to give me their phone numbers. How many phone numbers do I know today? Three, Tres, Trois, Drei. I know how to say the number 3 in more languages than I know phone numbers. (You might have to read that last sentence a couple more times for it to make sense. I did.) The 3 numbers are: Mine, Lindy's, and Work. No, 911 doesn't count. Or is it 119? Ever since Zack Morris started sporting that 20 pound cell phone, the whole world changed, because everyone wanted to be as cool as Zack Freakin' Morris. (You mean you didn't??? LOSER!).
I remember when I brought my first cell phone to school. This was back when people were still using beepers, so obviously, I was way ahead of the game. During lunch, I made a huge show of pulling out my cell phone in front of everyone sitting at my table. "Gotta take this call. You couldn't hear it cause it was on vibrate." Actually, no one was calling. I just wanted to show it off. I talked to the invisible man with a louder than normal voice so I could get more people's attention. The highlight of the show was when I said, "hold on a sec, you're breaking up a bit." That's when I pulled out the antenna. (Can you say, show-stopper?)
I talked on the phone, or rather, to myself for about 2 or 3 minutes. But that was long enough to be the envy of one person. My principal. She was so jealous she took it away. She was mad... I couldn't understand her anger. Maybe it was because she was still using a beeper, or that she heard my friends and I making fun of her earlier for spelling "BONES point" instead of "BONUS points" on the board when she subbed for our algebra class the day prior.
I met with her after school and tried to sweet talk her into giving me my cell back. It didn't work, of course. She told me the only way I could get it back was if my parents wrote a note for her. Easy! All I did was asked a friend with neat handwriting to write the note for me, and I was already a master at forging my parents' signatures. (You get to be pretty good at forgery when your report card never contains any vowels.) The next day, my cell phone was returned.
After 6 years of owning a cell phone, I can't, for the life of me, comprehend how I managed to survive without one for so many years! I use it to find out where people are, what they're doing, what they're wearing, etc... (I know, we have Facebook for that). Cell phones are very useful in so many ways. For example, if you're supposed to meet your date somewhere and they're late, you can simply call them and ask them where they are. Most of the time they're stuck in traffic, but sometimes they don't answer at all and they avoid you for about a week and when you see them again, they say they forgot you had a date and that they never received a call. (No, I never had that experience...)
Anyway, cell phones are great. Especially if you're talking to your girlfriend and you can sense she's about to break-up with you. Just hang up and tell her later that your phone died. Most people find it harder to break-up with someone in person.
"Cell Phones: Making excuses, break-ups, and lies easier since Zack Morris."
No comments:
Post a Comment