I'M SOOOOO BORED!!! I'm sick. The wife is in Kentucky probably hooking up with an old flame (her cousin). I've got no food and I only have two drinks to choose from: cold water or warm water. I'm watching a show on TLC called "Taboo: Drugs" but all I've seen so far are a bunch of jungle men walking around naked. To top it off, my dog just farted so loud she got up and started barking at the door. So this is my night alone. Boy, I think I'm getting old...
I honestly don't have much of a life outside of Lindy. The free time that I have, I spend at the gym. You may be thinking, "Weights, sweaty dudes, sore body...NO THANKS!" I admit, the gym is ALL that, but I've had many different experiences there. I've discovered that there are many different types of gym rats.
The most noticeable type are the Screamers/Heavy Grunters. You know exactly how many reps they're doing because they're yelling it out. You also know that they're lifting extremely heavy weights because they sound like they're fighting a losing battle in the toilet after ordering "extra spicy" food at their local Indian restaurant. I do have a very fond memory of this type because it still makes me laugh thinking about it. I was at a local gym when this Arnold-looking guy was doing squats with 400 pound weights (yeah, that's a lot even for a freakishly strong little man like me). He was on his 8th and last rep, he screams "EIGHT!!!!" and then lets out a "RAHHHHHHHH!", drops the weights about hip high, still screaming "RAHHHHHHH!" and the weights bounces off the ground and crashes into the mirror...breaking it. At that point, he sounds like: "RAAAHHHHH----OH SH..!" Awesome :)
Another is the "I-Look-Too-Awesome-Flexing-In-Front-Of-The-Mirror-To-Notice-You-Need-To-Get-By-Me" type. These guys (just like the screamers/heavy grunters) are the ones that single-handedly keep GNC stores in business. Even if they're not in front of a mirror, they're easy to spot because they're usually wearing their little sister's wife beaters. Well, wife beaters or hoodies with the arms cut off.
The other type is the talkers/cellphone users. I honestly think that they're just there to socialize and check out hot girls/dudes. They're also easy to spot because they'll be sitting/standing in the same spot/machine working out their lips for a good 10-20 minutes. I remember wanting to use a machine once but there was a couple currently using it. So I decided that I'll just save that machine for my last exercise. I never got that chance because after 45 minutes, they were still there talking.
There are more types, but the last type I'm going to talk about are the Studiers. These are probably the most annoying types. They roam the facility doing typical exercises, but they have this apparent need to observe everyone around them. On occasion, they would forget what set or rep they're on because they're staring at someone that seems to be amusing them. Like the guy on the top of this blog, for example. I have a hatred for these types. They would attempt to gather information about certain individuals at the gym, analyze them and place them in categories or "types", then probably make those poor individuals the main topic of their blog. These types are the lowest of the low. It's hard to spot them at the gym because they're always moving around. They're also small in stature so they tend to get lost in the crowd that consists of Arnold look-a-likes. If I ever see one though...that person better watch out.
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